From Inside
by DSCWin
Summary: Everyone, even those in vegetated stages, are still there.


**Attention Readers this is a combined effort between me, and my dear friend, Dr. Serpico who wrote this story and had asked me to help fix it and post it up. This is due to come rude comments given to her. Please when you do comment please praise her. I'm just here to help. Everything from Fault in our Stars belongs to John Greene. This type of story is an original work of fiction. As far as I know, as far as Dr. Serpico knows as well. Please if you don't like don't leave rude comments. I'm not a professional writer. I'm not one to take harsh comments either. But I'm not going to back down from this.**

 **P.S.: Bold face with in quotation marks are what the other characters are saying plain bold is inner thoughts.**

* * *

 ** _What time is it? Noon? Maybe one o'clock? I wish I had some sense of time. How long have I been here? I'm trying to think._**

 _I'm trying to keep track of trying day. Monday...I think. It could also be Thursday...the muffled voices and strange vibrations I'm feeling, I feel like a pair of eyes and a brain that's not liking the robot body I was forced to be placed inside. I wonder if I think hard enough I can be placed in Isaac's body so that he cold enjoy the ability to see again. But still be able to be my own person so that I could hold my cat, hug my parents and touch my girlfriend, Hazel Grace again._

 _I try and remember what brought me here in the first place. It was an experimental drug or procedure that they wanted to see would get rid of the mobster that lives inside me, I call him Mr. C. Mr. C proved too hard to get rid of as now he has all his guys spreading faster thorough my body. They even took my ability to move, to talk, to be a human. Mr. C made me a vegetable full of cancer. When I get out of this I need to write a book on that._

 _Dark shadows appear in my doorway. I could barely hear the sobs as my mom, followed by my dad, walk in and come to my side. I feel like a camera lens as I see tears sliding down my mom's cheek. I can feel her hand gripping on mine but I can't return the affection, as much as I scream at my brain to do so. **"Hey baby."** My mom's voice is trying to sound strong. But she's loosing it._

 _ **"Hey there Champ."** Dad's face is calm but I could see the tears playing with the edges of his eyes. I try to focus on their faces but something else catches my mind. A nurse with a brown pixie hair cut walks in pulling a tray with needles and bags of saline solution and medicine. I knew my parent's visit was too good to be true. I was surprised that I could feel the pain of the needle as it enters my arm. I want to scream but I only managed to blink. My parent's faces light up. I have a feeling I don't blink all that much._

 _ **"Dr. Chester!"** My mom is pointing at me while Dr. Chester rushes in. **"Look, it's happening again."** Dr. Chester watches as I blink once. He takes his pen light he keeps in his coat pocket and shine it in my eyes. I don't flinch._

 _I've learned to hate Doctors. Especially when they look like he's looking like. **"As I told you, Mrs. Waters."** I really hate how Doctors talk so condescending, even to healthy adults. "It's an involuntary spasm from his eyelids. He may look like he's with us and understanding but he's not." He turns to look at me. "Blink if you can hear me." I tried to blink I really did. But I just stared at him. He's looking at my parents now. **"I'm sorry Mrs. Waters. Mr. Waters. He may be in there but he's not here now."**_

 _My parents are the only ones Dr. Chester talks like this. He talked to everyone you came to visit me; Pastor Jim, Patrick, Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster, even to Hazel. It hurts when I see how Hazel will force herself not to cry in front of Dr. Chester. But as soon as he leaves she would cry._

 _There was a movie I had seen once, where a man in the same position I was in would blink to try and communicate. But the doctor in that movie said the same thing, that I was nothing more then an empty shell having spasms. But I was blinking. I was trying to communicate. Once again Mr. C is trying to ruin my life and he's now got Dr. Chester to work with him._

 __/__

 _ **"It is clear that we are just an advanced breed of primates on a minor planet orbiting around a very average star..."** I could listen to Hazel Grace's voice read stories any day. Any time. Even if I wasn't a prisoner in my own body. She had the voice I would want to spend my life with. She had an amazing voice. She was an amazing person. Her love of books fascinated me. She had a power making any dull science book and make it sound like a romance novel just by the way she would speak. Now I want to know why she was reading **"A Brief History of Time"**? I blink at her but she's not watching. So I keep blinking silently praying she'll look over at me._

 _My eyes are in pain and I start to cry when she looks over. Even with the tubes in her nose she was beautiful. Even though she had battled through the same mob boss as me and her hair was just starting to grow back, it was amazing. She slowly climbed to her feet and wiped my eyes. I blinked and I saw her starting to cry. I felt the tear fall down my cheek as she kissed my forehead. She smelt like sunshine, fresh air and freshly cut grass. It smelt a hundred times better then the stale air the hospital pumped in._

 __/__

 _Today, when Hazel came to the hospital, she somehow managed to convince them to let me have some time in the sun. I was in a wheelchair and a nurse had to push me. But as we sat on the bench we sat alone. The nurse I assumed was near by. I could feel my Hazel's hand holding mine, one hand holding her choice of book, her voice was really sweet and soothing it made me depressed. That depression was painful. More painful then having Hazel stop reading to help put my head in upright position. That was horrible._

 __/__

 _I was thinking today, which I do most of my days. I think about my cat Zeus, and what he's been up to lately. Was he sleeping in my bed curled up to my non-existing head? Or was he fighting with other cats in the neighborhood? He could be driving my mom crazy by bringing her dead mice or dead birds everyday. I miss my cat. I wish he was here right now. But I'm afraid if he does come over. He'd be thrown out. Hospitals are the worst._

 __/__

 _A few days ago, Isaac came over to visit. I found it useless to blink at him trying to get his attention to let him know I was still here. He of course didn't seem to think I was absent. Isaac was a great friend. His voice is going on about his life being a blind person and his plans of going to a school for the blind in Alabama. He's both excited about going but said that's leaving Hazel alone without me. Without a friend. Life is a bitch._

 __/__

 _Time has passed by me again. Days are now months. I blink and it's a different Season outside my hospital window. I knew I came in the spring as the blossoms on the trees started to bloom. Blink. The trees are green and vibrate, it must mean it's summer. Blink. The leaves are changing colors to Reds yellows and orange, fall. Blink. It's starting to snow. The leaves are all but gone off the trees, winter. Even though I can't shiver now. I can feel the cold seeping in my body. It's either that I'm cold or my body is dead. But I'm still thinking. I'm just cold._

 _As Dr. Chester comes in with my parents. My parents are looking happy now. Their eyes are tearing up with joy instead of sadness. This makes me happier._

 _ **"The experimental treatment seems to be making a difference. Not a lot but some. Some of the cancer cells we're seeing are dying out."** Mr. C is dying? I think my mom looks over at me and rushes over to grab my hand. **"His body is still has 70% of the cancer still inside. But that 30% is all but dead."**_

 _ **"You mean his life is expanding?"** My mom asks, since I cannot. Dr. Chester does this head nod shake thing where he's not sure if he could give her definite yes or no. But my mom takes it. My life is definitely helped. _

**_Hazel you should try this treatment. Sure you're a vegetable for a long time, but look! I'm 30% cancer free. Mr. C is loosing his power over my body._** _But as she comes to visit me later that day after my mom must have called her, I can see she's doing just fine. In fact she's more beautiful then before._

_/_

 _My eyes were closed but when I started to hear arguing my eyes slowly opened to see my parents and my two half sisters talking with Dr. Chester. I focused hard on what they were saying and the words Christmas and home didn't make sense until I heard Dr. Chester say **"Yes,"** very reluctantly. **Was I going home for Christmas?** Judging by the scowl Dr. Chester had on his face I knew I was. _

_**"Gussy!"** My sister, Martha's pet name echoed in my mind but her smile was a welcome relief. **"Are you excited? You're coming home for Christmas! Everyone is excited to see you!"** Even though she had exciting news she was starting to tickle my nose with her hair. I wish I could move away but once again, my body was out to get me. Even though I had just woken up, I was tired. When the nurse said it was time for visitors to leave I felt relieved. The nurse turned to look at me and allowed me to fall back to sleep._

 __/__

 _Hazel came for a visit before the Christmas break. She was wearing a winter hat that seemed to compliment her perfectly. **"I got you one too."** She said before pulling out an orange colored hat. **"I hope you like it. It's your favorite color."** I wished I could smile. She was always so considerate as she placed the hat on my my head before she moved to lay down next to me, pulling out her phone before taking a picture of us. She smelled like pine and peppermint, a perfect combination. _

_She looked down at the picture she took and she placed it in front of my face. If I could show emotions it would be both shocked and fear. Shocked to see that she could be happy to be next to me when I look like I had been attacked by a street cleaner. My hair was everywhere and long. My mouth was hanging open and I could see the shiny glint of drool on my cheek and tip of my chin. **"You will always be handsome."** I heard Hazel say as she grabbed a tissue and wiped away the drool making me feel old and invalid. Well, I guess I was an invalid. But I wasn't old. _

_I felt her lips connect to my cheek and then I felt her head rest next to mine. I was now comfortable. **I wish I can hold you Hazel. I wish I could say how much I love you.** I felt my eyes close but reopen a second later as her finger danced slowly across my chest. _

_In slow movements my brain, as much as I could muster, could feel her wanting to write something. Four short movements close together. A picture began to form in front of my eyes. **"M"** , I thought. Why would Hazel write a "M" on my chest. Soon the "M" was accompanied by an "E". **"Me"? Hazel why are you writing "Me" on my chest. "R"..."Mer..."**. Another "R" Followed by a "Y". **"Merry". "C...H...R...I...S...T...M...A...S...L...O...V...E...Y...O...U..." Oh Hazel, I love you too. Merry Christmas.** She was looking at me and picked up another tissue. Great more drool, but she didn't wipe near my mouth, more close to my eye. I was crying. August you're a baby. But Hazel doesn't seem to mind. **"I'll see you in the new year."** She moved in close and I felt her lips touch mine. She stayed in that one spot for what seemed like forever. But when you're a vegetable everyday feels like forever. _

__/__

 _It was Christmas Even and I was at my home. Not in a cold depressing hospital room. But home. Surrounded by the people who I love. Well, not everyone. Hazel had gone to visit her grandparents who lived in North Carolina. However, knowing I was at home, I had to have a nurse come with me. That was the only stipulation of me being home for Christmas._

 _ **"Yes, he's wearing the hat you gave him,"** my dad said with a smile. I was unsure why I was wearing a hat when I was stuck inside while my family, excluding my dad, was outside playing in the snow. **"Sure you can talk to him. One minute."** _

_**"Gus?"** Hazel asked. **"I want you to know that I'm happy you're wearing that hat I gave you. I'll be home a day after Christmas. I hope I get to see you before you need to head back to the hospital."** I loved the way she talked. Even on the phone she sounded like an angel. **"I do love you, Gus."** My dad held the phone next to my ear for another few minutes before pulling it away. _

_**"You want to say some more?"** My dad asked. **"Okay, well Merry Christmas and enjoy your time."** Dad walked away after talking to the nurse who started to work on me. **Hazel, I wish you were here.**_

 __/__

 _The Holidays were over. I did get my New Years kiss in the hospital. even though it was amazing it made me depressed again. I was loosing weight because I was depressed. Dr. Chester was concerned for that. I wanted to die. Get this miserable life I had been given to end. Maybe then I wouldn't have to watch Hazel cry every time she came in to see me. Even through her breath-taking smile I could see the pain she was trying to carry._

 __/__

 _Pastor Jim was in my room two weeks later. He was sitting in a chair beside me, reading a passage of scripture. He had been a good friend in this trial I was going through, and he seemed to have divine intervention because when he came to visit his passages of scripture seemed to help with whatever I was going through._

 _When he finished he stayed in his seat unlike when he used to. His hands were warm as he gripped my arm just above my wrist. **"You need to come back to us, Son."** He said. **"Patrick is telling me that Hazel, is always broken hearted when you're like this. She needs you there."** I blinked knowing full well he wouldn't respond. But he was looking at me. **"Gus?"** I blinked again. **"If this is you, blink twice."** I did what I was asked to do. **"Blessed are we!"** He exclaimed before running out of my room. Seconds later Dr. Chester arrived and took Pastor Jim's spot beside my bed. **"Do it again Gus. Blink twice if this is you."**_

 _Dr. Chester was looking skeptically over at Pastor Jim before he turned to look at me. I blinked twice. Dr. Chester took out his pen light and shined it in my eye. My eyes flinched. He looked surprised. I knew I would too, if I was a skeptic._

 _I was like a circus performer when my parents arrived. I was blinking I was responding to lights. I was gradually taking control over my body again. My mom being excited that I was coming back grabbed my hand and squeezed gently before she relaxed._

 _ **"Come on Gus,"** she pleaded tears threatening to flow out of her eyes. **"Squeeze. Let me know you're stronger then this."** _

_**"Come on Champ."** Dad encouraged. **"Don't let Pastor Jim down."** It took a lot of effort but I managed to curl my fingers gently over my mom's hand. My room filled with cheers. I was coming back! I was winning this battle, and nothing was stopping me. **Hazel, I can't wait to see your reaction to this.**_


End file.
